As I lay here and watch you sleep, you look so peaceful, so innocent, so calm. I hear every breath you take and feel every flinch you make as you dream away. I can’t help but think how perfect you are, how sweet you are and how lucky I am that you are mine. I smile at myself in the dark thinking of all the things we’ve done throughout the day and the fun we’ve had. I can’t help but grin knowing how much I love you and how much you love me.
It seems like only yesterday, you laid beside me and could fit in one arm and now you are as long as I am. When did you grow up? It won’t stop me from holding you tight just a little while longer, no matter how big you get. Why did it happen so fast?! You are so still and perfect as you sleep. I’ve always thought I was a strong woman, a strong mom but somehow, being a mom has made me weaker. When I say weaker, I mean I have started to show my emotions more. I want to protect you from the world. I want to hold you tight and stay in our innocent bubble.
I just want to keep you with me, safe and in our bubble as long as I can and when it’s time to set you free, I’ll send all my strength with you; then I’ll cry because you’ll need me less.
It use to be just us and we’d lay around and snuggle all day. You needed me all the time and now, as you get older, you need me a little less.
My parents always warned me how quickly time would pass by and I never believed them. Oh, were they right. It seems to go faster and faster and if I could stop time for just a minute, a second to hold you longer, I would.
Life is so busy. I tend to get caught in the fast pace of life more often than not. I don’t want to miss a thing with you but I do. The dishes need to be done, clothes need to be washed, my car looks like the crayons and snacks had a party and forgot to clean up, sports activities to attend, yard to be mowed, work, dinner to be made and a constant overwhelming feeling of it’s too much and I’m failing.
As I lay here and watch you sleep, I know every time I close my eyes is another day I’m closer to you growing up and leaving me.
It’s a thought I can’t handle.
Sometimes, I lay here and just watch you, take your picture, hold you, kiss you, hold your hand. We’ve always loved to read and when I read Love You Forever, I immediately understood why she snuck in her sons room. Every time we read this book, I get to her your sweet voices say,
I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be
Those words could not be more true my sweet children.
As long as I’m living, no matter how big you are, you can always curl up to me. As long as I’m living you can confide in me. As long as I’m living, you’ll be my bright eyed babies. As long as I’m living, I’ll always remember holding your hand. As long as I’m living, I’ll never forget your sweet voice. As long as I’m living, I will be living to take care of you, no matter how big you get.
One day, when you have your own children you will understand the love I am talking about. I never realized how deep love goes until I had you.
Thank you for being my babies. The greatest joy of my life is being your Mommy and the thing that matters most to me! I will never stop fighting for you, protecting you, providing for you, caring for you and loving you.
I will only love you more with everyday that passes.
Thank you for forgiving me and loving me on the bad days and making them turn to good! Your heart is pure, your eyes are full of kindness and my life is full of love because of you.
I love you forever, always and the mostest!